Random musings

It was 2:30am. I was in the basement trying to make sense of my messed up life. Things just weren’t getting better at all. I tried accepting everything but that just made things harder. I tried to live a happy, positive life but I was too caught up in sorrow to actually find happiness.

I was a mixture of dysfunctional, messed up and useless. Or was it hopeless?

I stared at the ivory wall which was almost fully clothed in dust.
The basement was the place he frequently came to. He would jot down his thoughts on the black notepad that I was ever familiar with.
When he left the world, I never understood why he held such a strong connection to this place…and today I am here at 2:30am asking myself the exact same question!

He had golden brown hair which was mostly messy..he’d run his fingers at the ends when he was nervous or anxious. His eyes were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were green. A pale green.. he had perfectly straight teeth that were exposed almost all the time due to his ever smiling nature. He was fair in complexion and would ‘blush’ when teased. He always chose the best style in his clothes. He loved white. He always wore white sneakers. He was tall, but not too tall. He was the perfect but not perfect, extraordinary but out of the ordianry person. He was my type of person.

And now he is just a mere name..not known to anyone..but sealed in many hearts.

I felt a bucket load of tears push themselves out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I seen the first drop on my notepad. It messed up the ink.
How can you live without someone?

It is so hard. I miss him so much…

I wiped my tears haphazardly as I pushed my notepad away and left my head to rest on the solid iron table.

He was my everything. .

These are just random musings…completely fictional.

Request for du’aas.

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