The Silent Negativity Series – Part Eight

Soon I was out of rehab .

Slowly recovering and getting back to a so-called normal ‘good’ ‘clean’ life .

I tried as much as I could to frequent the Masjid .

Imraan encouraged me and he didn’t even make me feel uncomfortable .

I got back to work also .

My boss was very happy with my progress , although some people at work gave me the random stares .

You could say the pieces of our family puzzle was slowly falling into place .

Nabeela was back to her normal self . I hardly saw Aarifah since she’s in Matric now and she is a very dedicated student .

Sahal acted as if nothing happened .

We went daily after Fajr for Hifz Dhor together .

And everything was slowly falling into place .

I still smoked cigarettes . I guess old habits die hard .

I still kept contact with Taahir .

Zayn and Mike .

Mike is gone overseas for studying and assisting his dad in his business .

Zayn is still studying psychology .

Maleeha gave up on trying to call me and I wasn’t interested .

Sometimes when I went to the bakery or anywhere for that matter , I’d get the stares from people .
People used to even come and say ‘oh its you? Becoming holy?’ And they’d mock me .

It hurt .

I still wasn’t dressing like a good haaro poiro but I was trying . I mean I didn’t shave .. I wanna grow a beard . I want to . Its my decision .

I wear kurta sometimes on a Friday .

Imraan encourages me to wear for every Salaah … but I guess I’m not on that level of piety .

I’m not even pious yet .

I watch TV , I listen to music sometimes . I waste time!!

But I hope I will improve . Soon . Insha Allah .

Looking back at the past year , I just realised how much I’ve learnt , how much I’ve actually improved and reformed . I do feel different , no doubt about that . But … compared to a life of sinning like that I prefer this life . Sometimes I look back and think to myself that Allah has brought me this far . He has shown me different sides . I appreciate my Islam now more than before . I don’t actually like to admit this , but its the truth .

He brought me from the darkness to light …

So on this note … this series has ended .


Hope you enjoyed it .

Allah accept my broken efforts .


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