The Silent Negativity Series – Part Seven

Just like every other ordinary thing in life , there are pros and cons .

There are times when you’ll feel great and times when you’ll feel totally under the weather .

But there’s also a time when you’ll experience spiritual highs and spiritual lows .

Sometimes , you slack in your worship . You pray just for the sake of praying . You do things nonchalantly .

And that was exactly the situation at hand .

I wasn’t having a great day either .

I was back at rehab .

For starters , I was having withdrawal symptoms . I desperately needed some ‘stuff’ . It had been approximately 3 weeks without it . Although I was allowed cigarettes at rehab .

But it didn’t fully satisfy my cravings .

The sports were good . Especially the soccer .

After soccer I went up to one of the boys who resembled ‘him’ .

It was a cold winters evening . We just got back from one of the house parties and we were heading back home . It was around 3 in the morning and I was freezing . He offered me his jacket and he left with his motorbike . I greeted and we departed our ways . When I neared my house , my phone rang . I answered and it was him . He called me to the Masjid . He sounded like he was going through some tough issue . I thought he probably got run down by some bad guys . When I reached the Masjid , he was sitting in the courtyard . We were both ‘sober’ so we weren’t oblivious . He looked at me with a solemn expression . He was hurt . Someone had shot him . He was literally finished . But there was a miracle to it all . He held my hand and told me that he tried so many times to make Taubah but everytime , he returned back to drugs . Then every night he came to the Masjid crying and hoping for something to happen and now he has realised that his life is almost over . He put his head on my shoulder and cried . I was overwhelmed at this act of his .
I called an ambulance and they took him in .
The next day he wasn’t improving .
I waited for another day and another … until it was Friday .
He greeted everyone that morning .
And he left this world .
He was shot in the heart but the bullet pierced the organs surrounding his heart . And miraculously doctors thought he would’ve died instantly , but he didn’t .
He was my best buddy : Abdullah  .

I will never forget you , Abdullah  ..

And after his death , I was wounded emotionally . I was high almost every night . I couldn’t handle the pain . I wanted to numb the pain of losing someone close to me ..

I greeted the guy awkwardly . He greeted back .
He smiled and asked basic info about myself . I did the same .

“You look like someone I know .” I told him .

He was surprised .

“Me?” He questioned .

But in actual fact his name was Taahir and he had nothing to do with Abdullah . But he resembled him .

We spoke and soon became acquaintances .


I apologise for not posting for centuries? I’m exaggerating!
Really sorry ..
Next post will be this weekend Insha Allah .

Twitter : @Missmuslimah9

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