“Sahal . ” I said awkwardly .
“Congrats for uhh … the hifz.”
“You telling me that a week later . Bro , you late . Seriously , fashionably late .” He sniggered
I rolled my eyes .
My parents continued lecturing me to such an extent that I moved in with Mike at his apartment .
It was extremely annoying for them to continuously lecture me .
Nothing I did was ever right .
I stopped going to the Masjid .
I was their rebellious kid , how?
Mike and I were on highs almost every night .
I continued working coz I needed the money .
I started getting very tired .
I slept way more often than ever .
One day , Zayn came over .
It was surprising to see Zayn since he was the good one amongst us .
I was addicted . He wasn’t fully addicted . Know what I mean?
He was too busy immersed in his ‘studies’ for drugs . He took it on weekends and sometimes during the week .
Zayn looked at me , scanning me incredulously .
“Bro . Everythings alright?”
I nodded .
He wasn’t convinced .
I didn’t actually care . No-one tried contacting me during these few days at Mike’s place .
Imraan did message me giving me the ‘Muslim Image’ pep talk .
Zayn took me aside questioning me .
“You don’t look fine at all . Nabeel , what’s up?” He said with concern in his voice .
When Zayn used my real name , he meant business .
“Its a long story . And I don’t wanna divulge into its inner details .” I said shrugging .
“Nabeel . Shut up . And talk .” He said getting serious .
“You just told me to shut up and talk?!” I said sarcastically .
“No sarcasm . Start . Now!” He said a little too stern .
“So my parents didn’t chuck me out . But the lectures , ya know what I mean? Yeah . They were too much . Everything I did was (colourful words) wrong . And still is . So I got tired of their rubbish . I moved in with Mike for now . Anything else you wanna know?” I stated , looking outside .
Johannesburg grounds .
He studied me for a long while .
“And the drugs? You guys go out every night?” He questioned .
“The past two nights , yeah . Its awesome . ” I told him .
“I think you depressed .” He said looking at me , expressionless .
I was stunned .
Then I got angry .
How dare he say that?!
I ain’t a psycho .
I grabbed him by his collar and swore him .
Then I held myself and walked to the punching bag .
I started punching and I gave him a piece of my mind .
Why I felt like a mess .
All of the emotional stuff .
When I was done , I turned around to see him standing there .
He was biting his lip .
“Stop . Now!” He commanded .
I stopped .
“I’m taking you to a psychologist .” He said matter-of-factly .
When Zayn said something , there was no way I could say no . He wouldn’t take no for an answer .
Zayn was in his first year of psychology . Although , it didn’t seem like it suited him – it was what he wanted .
“NO!” I screamed at him . “You CANNOT take me to a stupid PSYCHOLOGIST . Am I psycho , huh?!”
Mike walked in .
He looked at both of us for answers .
I pointed to Zayn .
Zayn didn’t say anything so I told Mike that Zayn wanted to take me to a stupid psychologist .
That was it .
I was psycho .
No – one actually cared .
My life was a mess .
My future is most likely to be a mess .
Death will be the best . I guess .
I walked towards the window .
4 floors down was the ground .
Will I die?
I was scared .
Zayn and Mike didn’t think I was gonna do something so drastic .
They were discussing ‘me’ .
This will end the pain .
No more numbing the pain .
It’ll be gone … forever .
I stood by the window looking down .
Here we come , death .
But I want to live …
I was about to jump but before that , I turned to Mike and Zayn .
“Don’t worry ’bout me . I’m goin’ for good now . Take care …”