I smiled at Zayn and Mike that evening .
I was ecstatic .
Although , I wasn’t .
Sin brings sadness over sadness and grief over grief .
Nonethless , I was happy .
It was Saturday night .
I got back home at 3 the next morning .
Bro , I was moeg!
I slept .
I missed Fajr and I got up at 2 in the afternoon .
Hangovers? Yeah , well .
I had a very bad migraine which clearly wasn’t welcoming .
I jumped out of bed . Had a shower and procrastinated .
I was chatting to Maleeha . My new girl , when I recieved a phone call .
I answered fearfully .
I worked as an assistant for my dad’s family friend’s car business .
Yeah . Indians .
“Naabil . Is that you? Its me Jake here . You coming back to work tomorrow?”
“Uhh . Well . Most probably . ”
“Naabil . You better stick to that . Give your dad my greetings . And I shall be waiting at 9 tomorrow morning . Sharp .”
And he cut the call .
Cut the crap , mahn .
I went downstairs casually . I had missed Fajr and Zuhr already for the day .
Mother asked if I wanted anything . I refused .
She gave me another long lecture . Goes in one ear , comes out of the other .
There were a few family people around but I didn’t care .
Sahal , Imraan and Aarifah weren’t very pleased to see me .
But when Nabeela saw me , she flipped .
She went pale , almost .
Nabeela is my other sister . She’s 16 and she despises me? No . She talks to me . Tries to get me to do good . And you know the younger sister worrying about her big bro .
She came to me .
Nabeela: Nabeel .
Me : What?
Nabeela: Nabeel . I missed you .
Me: Missed me ? Haha . Thanks .
She looked at me , scanning me . Her eyes pierced mines . It was as if she was pleading at to me .
But instead she hugged me .
I hugged her back awkwardly .
Nabeela: Nabeel .
She said sounding almost like a whisper .
But she didn’t say anything . And neither did I .
I walked to the garage , took out my GTI and flew out .
I waited at a famous restaurant for Maleeha .
She walked in clutching a silver studded purse . Her red dress clung to her and her arms and legs were visible .
She glared at me and winked .
Her heels clicked on the ground as she walked .
The truth was I didn’t like her . Gosh , I didn’t even love her .
I just took her as my girl . My thing : playing around . Right?
She came to me and I felt like vomitting .
I didn’t want her anymore . I wanted to disappear .
She was about to sit in my lap but I pushed her away .
“I’m sorry .” I muttered .
Her rose scented perfume filled my nostrils . I closed my eyes and headed to my car .
I drove like a maniac .
I could see her standing outside the restaurant wiping her tears away .
I didn’t care .
I drove faster away from Fordsburg .
I was heading towards Crosby .
When I reached Crosby , I didn’t know what to do .
I don’t even know people who stay here .
Some Indian far family but other than that , no .
It was starting to get late .
Maghrib was in 5 minutes .
I started driving in the direction of Ormonde .
I parked in a quiet alley . Few cars passed but I didn’t bother .
Then I broke down .
I can’t handle this .
I switched on the radio and the music blasted .
I could hear the faint sound of Esha Adhaan .
I switched the radio off and began crying .
I wiped my tears and as if on cue , my phone rang .
I amswered without checking the caller id .
“Nabeel?” My mother’s stern voice screamed at me .
“Where are you? It is already 8:30 son . Where are you? You gone since the afternoon .”
“In South Africa , Mom . Yeah , thanks for tellin’ me the time . Yes , I know that too .” I replied sarcastically .
“Get home now . Now is now . RIGHT NOW! ”
I cut the call .
Yeah . Now . Haha .
I felt guilty not going to the Masjid since I heard the Adhaan .
I drove to the nearest Masjid .
I parked in the courtyard and walked in .
I had no wudhu .
No Salaah for a whole day! Phew .
I went to make Wudhu and I promise , I became emotional .
I was overwhelmed .
It just felt so …
I don’t know .
I made my Wudhu and went to join the Saff .
I felt totally embarrassed . I was dressed in jeans and an Uzzi T-Shirt .
I lifted my jeans above my ankles .
I probably looked like a wacky thing but at that moment , I wished I wasn’t alive . I wasn’t even dressed appropriately .
My hair wasn’t normal . It was messy .
The Salaah began and I closed my eyes breathing in and out , expressing so much inner joy and happiness ..
After Salaah , there were few youngsters looking at me . I felt ashamed .
Is this going to be the case always? That people look at me and judge .
I’m so messed up , really .
Ya Allah . I cried from the bottom of my heart . Assist me … remove this sadness away from me . Ya Allah . I don’t know what to do …
And You know best …